Have you ever asked yourself whether your baby is getting enough sleep or perhaps even sleeping too much? Whether the number of naps is sufficient or if it sleeps too often? Are you wondering why your child still isn't sleeping through the night?
I have also asked myself several times: "Is there a 'normal' sleep behavior for babies and toddlers, or is it individual from child to child?" The answer to these questions is quite simple: yes! And if you are thinking that this contradicts itself, no, it actually doesn't, because every child has its individual sleep needs, but ultimately the total sleep your baby gets throughout the day and night should fall within a range that depends on your little one's age.
Zombie or Angel Sleep: How Does Your Baby Sleep?
When I think back to the time shortly after the birth of our first child, I didn't really feel that my little one's sleep behavior was normal. I spent countless nights barely sleeping and looked like a zombie during the day. Friends and family looked at me with pity, and I didn't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I thought the sleepless nights would never end. And it broke me when other mothers said to me, "My child sleeps through the night, how does yours sleep?"
In the first weeks after birth…
- …you either have luck and your baby sleeps like an angel. You wonder why all the other mothers are suffering so much because their babies don't sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time.
- …or unfortunately, you have bad luck and you belong to those mothers who, after a week, no longer know how to survive another night without sleep.
If you belong to the second category, like most of us, I can give you hope and say: It will get better! Maybe not in the first days and weeks, but your child will eventually sleep through the night, and until then, I am sure you will manage this time with flying colors!
Baby Sleep and the First Weeks After Birth
I know how you feel, and I know how exhausting the first time after birth is. Usually, it starts to get easier after the 6th week, and your baby slowly adjusts to the day-night rhythm. Unfortunately, this does not mean that from the 7th week onwards, you will have a perfectly sleeping baby that falls asleep at 7 PM and wakes up for breakfast at 6 AM! Between the second and sixth month, the number of individual naps will decrease, while the duration of the naps will increase. Regardless of how the sleep is distributed, your baby should sleep approximately as much as you can see in the following table:
(The figures are averages; every baby is different, so the awake times must be adjusted to the baby's needs. Source)
Is My Baby's Sleep Normal?
To give you the assurance that your baby has a "normal" sleep quota, it is helpful to keep a sleep log for a few days. Note how long and how often your baby sleeps. The total number of sleep hours should be similar to the numbers in the table. If everything is going well, you can relax. The time when you can sleep through the night again will come soon. However, if you find that your baby sleeps significantly differently than shown in the table, one or more of the following reasons could be responsible. But don't worry, with a few simple changes to your daily routine, you can quickly get it under control.
The 5 Most Common Causes of Your Baby's Sleep Problems
#1 Your Baby is Awake Too Long Between Naps
If you take a look at the table, you can see how long the time between naps should be. If your baby is awake significantly longer, it is very likely that it is overtired. Even if you wish it from the bottom of your heart, newborns do not necessarily fall asleep when they are tired and need sleep. Often, you have to actively help them fall asleep. Roughly follow the guidelines in the table and try to develop a sleep rhythm by putting your baby to sleep at approximately the same times every day.
#2 Your Baby is Not Getting Enough Sleep
I know the objection "my baby doesn't need that much sleep" comes up very often, and maybe you were just tempted to think that. Additionally, the fact that it is often not so easy to get your angel to sleep greatly reinforces this feeling. I am not claiming that it is easy. Nevertheless, it is one of the most important prerequisites for good sleep, and often it is the babies who have problems with nighttime sleep that do not get enough sleep during the day. Try to see the total amount of sleep in the table simply as a goal you are working towards. If you stick with it, you will eventually succeed in getting closer to the right amount of sleep. And maybe during that time, you can also treat yourself to an hour or two of sleep that you missed at night!
#3 Bedtime in the Evening is Too Late
This usually has two reasons:
- Between birth and the 6th month, babies take a nap in the late afternoon or early evening. This often shifts bedtime to 10 PM. This is perfectly fine during this time. However, once no nap is taken in the late afternoon, it is important to adjust bedtime accordingly. So, move it from 10 PM to 7 PM or 8 PM.
- I know you want to sleep in in the morning, maybe cuddle a bit with your partner in bed, after all, time together is currently very rare. Therefore, it is understandable that you try to keep your baby awake longer so that it sleeps longer than 6 AM in the morning. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. Your little treasure will still wake up around 6 AM, and the only result is that your baby does not get enough sleep. Therefore, it is important that you put your baby to bed early so that it can gather enough energy for the next day.
#4 Your Baby Doesn't Nap at All
In your circle of friends or in the baby group, there are some parents who are convinced that their child no longer needs a nap. The reason is again simple: the children do not fall asleep on their own, so they believe they no longer need it. However, the vast majority of children under 3 years old need a nap. Their bodies are in a strong growth phase, and at the same time, so many new impressions come at them every day that they need the time to recharge. Even if it is not easy, it is all the more important that you get your child to sleep.
#5 Your Baby is Not Developing a Day-Night Rhythm
Surely you know that babies in the first weeks after birth do not yet have a day-night rhythm. However, to understand and develop this, your baby needs your help. Only if you convey to it through rituals and behaviors when it is day or night will your little one soon understand this better and align its sleep accordingly. Helpful are, for example, bedtime rituals such as bathing your baby, reading a story, or playing specific music. Additionally, you should only speak in a soft voice and dim the lights as much as possible.
Even when you change your little one at night, you should behave accordingly calmly. This helps your baby gradually understand the daily rhythm.
Conclusion
As you can see, there is a natural sleep behavior for babies or a guideline for how much your baby should sleep on average. However, you must not forget that your little one has its individual needs. How and when your baby meets its sleep needs most easily depends on that.
Try to find out when and how long the naps should be during the day, and you will soon find the optimal rhythm for you! By the way, if you still don't know where your baby sleeps at all, take a look at the article "Where My Baby (Really) Sleeps."
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